The Finish Line

When we first started attending, there was no Father Basil.  There was a large group of clergy who had left the race track looking for a better route, and he was one of those.  I don't know what he did or how he lived during that time, but I could see by those who had been running longer than I that a miracle had taken place when a few of the clergy discovered the "better route" had taken them on a wild goose chase and they set foot back on the official course.  I saw a man dressed in black, small frame, long beard, prayer rope.  He always bowed low in front of the icons, not with the quick movements we often see from those of us who are distracted as we "enter in to worship", but deliberate movements as if he were truly honoring a friend and was present, mind and body, with the saint or the Theotokos or Christ. 

After some time he became a greeter on Sunday mornings.  He didn't bat an eyelash when my sometimes irreverent son burst into the church with his internal engine on high.  He would allow this little guy to stand with him as a greeter and praised him for his successful moments.  He helped him to slow down and cross himself and, for a moment, be calm in the presence of Christ.

He had been a priest.  When he left the Church he was unordained and no amount of wishful thinking or vestments worn in the fashion of a priest could change that fact.  And when he returned he understood that he may never be allowed to run the race as a pace setter again.  God had other plans.  On December 12, 2010 (my birthday:) he was humbled in front of the Church and his sins laid on the altar.  New shoes were placed on his feet for the race and, by the grace and mercy of Christ, he was given the name Father once again. 

That last Sunday he had no idea his race was coming to an end.  He had no idea the Liturgy he served would be his last.  He didn't know his homily  and the blood and body he served were his final contributions to the faithful. Father Basil met his Lord on July 24, 2011. He crossed the finish line redeemed, reinstated and...running with all his heart. 

May his memory be eternal.

Breathe

You know it's going to be a long day when it starts with a sigh :) We are trying to figure out what combination of activities, exercises, supplements and meds are going to help my brown boy in his quest to control his mouth and body. This is a slow process and my patience and understanding account can't always sustain the withdrawals he makes on them. Would I trade any of it? No. The deposits he makes are made with hugs and a contagious laugh. He likes to cuddle and ask my what my favorite part of the day was.

But you know what, if working with my children through their emotional or physiological trials is my cross to bear I bear it gladly. It's hard to remember "the joy set before me" when we are right in the middle of the chaos, but in the quite moments (what are those?!) I do remember why we do what we do and feel so blessed to be part of God's plan for my children.

May we mama's help our little ones come to Christ and not hinder them. Even though the path for some may be steeper than it is for others, praise God for the journey :)

Struggles

Struggles are sometime harder when one believes progress is being made then finds it was a very temporary respite. In that brief moment it is tempting to indulge in that respite, letting down your guard. But the demons never sleep. The Devil is never on holiday. Instead we must learn to use that time to "gird our loinas", mend our armor through prayer and stand at the ready with right faith, understanding the whole time that it is only through Christ we are able to stand.

May we cling to the mighty right hand of Christ Himself. Amen.

Great...Lent

Last week was Forgiveness Sunday for us. Around the world each Orthodox Church acknowledges the fact that a person's sin affects the whole Church, much like a splinter, small as it may be, affects the whole body. It is very humbling and can be made even moreso if you happen to have a son like mine.

It is almost an out of body experience sometimes being the mother of an impulse control challenged child. As the rest of the church soberly goes to each member, crosses themselves and says "forgive me, a sinner", my son tells each member this whole business is disgusting and to "move on...turn the page". I'm left looking helplessly at each face and feel compelled not only to ask them to forgive me but to forgive my son as well. While it is true most of the young, especially the boys, cringe at the thought of touching, let alone hugging, an adult they are usually a lot less verbal than my son.

So what is my challenge this Lent? To humble myself. To train my children and let go of the embarrassment that often comes with being the parent of an...um...exhuberant child. To serve more and speak less. To honor the Lord with my time. To let go of my ideals and carry whatever cross the Lord has for me, not the extra crosses I stack on my own back.

I do look forward to this Lenten season. And though it was a challenge to go through forgiveness Sunday with my youngest one, I was blessed to see my eldest son embrace this time and humbled by God's great mercy for us all!

Have a blessed Lent and may we see the lessons of Love God gives us through our greatest challenges

Son's Valentine

"To Mom: I wus hungry and you gave me food and water. I wus naked and you clothed me. I love you."

Tears rolled down my cheeks this morning as I read this card from my oldest son! I was SO not expecting that!!! Just when I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted because of our latest foster additions I received this. Sometimes as a mom it's easy to feel like we're fighting an uphill battle blindfolded in quicksand. Then they say things like that! Even if we accomplish nothing else, if we can see the Christ in our children we find it is 110% worth it!

Sneaky

For some reason my children don't think they can be heard at bedtime. They get so engaged in their play or discussions they aren't aware of the volume level. I have always found a way to sneak down and listen in to get a glimpse into the heart of my children.

Tonight I snuck down the stairs because I heard talking coming from the boys room. I stood in the shadows by the door and listened. My eldest son was talking with our foster guy about a variety of things, very trivial at first. Still I waited and listened instead of going forward with my surprise attack and boy was I glad I did. My eldest asked Foster Guy if he liked me. Foster Guy answered "No". Oldest asked why and Foster Guy explained that he didn't like that I "get him in trouble when he steals things." Oldest became very passionate about the fact that Foster Guy shouldn't steal and that he shouldn't speak badly about me because the Bible says that it shows a parents love for her children when she disciplines them and that the Bible says to obey those in charge of you and that stealing is wrong and that we should "love our enemies". What a blessed moment for Mama. My "honor" was defended by my oldest boy!

I did eventually make my presence known when they started talking about nothing in particular again:)

Over the years I've seen other people's children behave well in front of others and have believed them to be nearly flawless. I've wondered why my children couldn't be a little more like those well behaved children. Later my children inform me that they don't like hanging out with those other children because they are so rude to each other when their parents aren't around or they have heart issues their parents aren't aware of. Then I realize I'd rather know up front what I'm up against :) Through this evenings events I think I will try to be patient with my children as they are learning to follow the Lord and thank God they aren't hiding who they are under false humility or good deeds to simply be seen by others. They are themselves and I am honored to be their mom...even when my "sneaking" doesn't come up with such blessed moments :)

Hope for Martha

In all the years of hearing, pondering and being instructed on the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42)Martha has always gotten a bad rap. It seems like we view Martha as some sort of creature of the underworld for not dropping everything and running to the feet of Christ. Of course we can see the wisdom of Mary sitting at the feet of Christ, but there were things that legitimately needed to get done. Where Martha missed the mark with her attitude. She could have been receiving just as much blessing had her heart been at the feet of Christ even with her hands being busy preparing the meal. Mary wasn't praised for not helping her sister and Martha wasn't corrected for continuing on with the preparations. We do well in the service of Christ if our hearts are like Mary and our hands are like Martha.

There is a lovely woman at church who from the outside might look like a Martha. She is always doing. She makes sure food goes out and tables are wiped down and floors are vacuumed. When we gather for the Sunday school adult class her hands are busy with some sort of handiwork. But I also see her listening. She listens intently during the service and the classes. She is very intuitive when someone is in need or a project needs to be completed.

The Lord calls us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. He tells us that we are His workmanship CREATED FOR good works in Christ. He tells us that we are saved by grace but that faith without WORKS (yes works!) is dead. Often we fail when we get frustrated because our works have gone unnoticed:) You know, I've just heard of people doing that...

Lord grant us mama's the heart of Mary and the Hands of Martha ~Amen