Today is the first day of Great Lent for the Christians in the Eastern Orthodox Church. One of my hopes for this season is to surrender my time so I can be truly present in my home and with my family. I'm here, but I'm not always here. My mind is wondering about this or that and I often take "just a moment" to look something up on my computer or phone. All those moments stacked one on top of the other makes for a lot of time not in the present. So I've decided to give up computer time when my children are awake. I am leaving time to write and other business things I have to take care of online. I honestly didn't think it would be too hard, but I was wrong. Any time we try to tell the flesh "no", we are met with resistance. Even if it's something we don't really care about, as soon as we put up some boundary, whatever is on the other side of that boundary suddenly becomes valuable to obtain.
I was surprised at how often I wanted to reach for my phone today. Okay, more horrified than surprised. I wondered why on earth I needed to know so many, often unimportant, things. Who cares? Does feeding my impulse finding out the name and previous roles of an actor I can't place from a show we watched the other day benefit anyone else, or even myself? Do I really need to know the majority of what I look up right this very moment. No.
In her book Who Is God? Who Am I? Who Are You? Dee Pennock does an excellent job describing the passions. She says the passions are usually normal/good things that get out of hand. For example: a camp fire, when camping, is a good thing, but a forest fire is not. A stream is a good thing, but a flood causes extreme damage. This book was written for teens, but I learned so much!
Lent is a time to purposefully face the forest fires burning out of control in our lives and turn to our Lord to extinguish them. It is the time we acknowledge we are trapped on some rooftop in the midst of a flood so that our Lord can part the waters, command them to recede or teach us how to swim.
There is a beautiful protestant hymn I used to sing in church. The first two verses and chorus speak what my hope is this Lent; full surrender to the One who gave Himself fully for me. I am such a weakling, but His strength is sufficient. Praise God!
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
- I surrender all,
I surrender all.
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.
I noticed today how much "me time" I desire and how I can justify that "need" considering some of the challenging children who live in my home. Not to say in any way it is not beneficial to obtain rest and get recharged, but I am seeing now any "me" time is not for me anyway. It is all His time.
It will be interesting to see what I learn this season...what I allow Him to teach me. May the Lord be glorified in all things and may we seek Him during this Lenten season and every day of our lives. Amen!
It will be interesting to see what I learn this season...what I allow Him to teach me. May the Lord be glorified in all things and may we seek Him during this Lenten season and every day of our lives. Amen!