How come children never need you until you're on the phone or happen to escape to the bathroom? They say they want to be independent but actually want to be fully dependent. When there is work to be done they disappear and get distracted but when you find a little moment to take a sip of tea they all need you all at the same time with something that just can't wait and requires your full attention. The yelling, the joyful kind or...not so joyful, melt downs, chaos, high action, bottomless pit appetites (like locusts!), miscommunication, laughter, rage, auditory/sensory processing issues, impulse control issues...you'd think I'd be curled up in some dark closet in the fetal position.
Yet in all this chaos is where I find Christ. Yes, God is a God of peace, but peace is not just quiet serene surroundings, it is the inner peace. That peace that just couldn't exist outside of Christ. All of those busy moments, the opportunities to train (and fail...and repent...and try again), to direct, intervene, give me the great and sacred opportunity to cry out to the Lord for direction. The chaos is my reminder of my need for Christ, the need to scuff my knees of the behalf of my children.
Baby's crying, gotta go:) Apparently it's time to pray:)
I'm glad you wrote. It's amazing that in the middle of all the noise you can have the quiet inside. Sometimes it's hard to find though so going to services and saying prayers brings us back to where we can recognize the balance again.
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