The next "best" thing to a child going "boneless" is having one who is collapsible. My older four year old is one of those. Yep, that's him right there...the little brown one. That is what he often looks like. When he is in a good mood he is the sweetest little person. He speaks with a raspy quiet voice and is very thoughtful. People are impressed by his large vocabulary and he asks very abstract questions most four year olds don't think to ask ("what is under the road?").
And then it happens. He asks to do something. Perhaps he would like a snack 10 seconds after breakfast or to play outside in his underwear during a snow storm or to eat his younger brother's unfinished breakfast BEFORE said brother has had a chance to finish it. When the answer is not in his favor he collapses. He may do any number of variations of the collapsible child. He may hit himself in the head or leg on the way down or lift his rear end into the air, not unlike the Lorax, to assure his tailbone receives the "benefit" of full impact upon completion of the collapse. He may drop the toy or fork or snack he is currently holding...just open his hand while staring at me and drop it...then collapse.
Yesterday at the store he decided to display his amazing abilities for an audience. In that performance he decided to add his incredible vocal abilities in the hope of breaking every glass container in the store. Have you ever played with GAK? It's that mixture of water and corn starch that hardens when you pick it up but pours back into the bowl as a liquid when you relax your hand. That was my son! I couldn't quite pick him up. He's already a "lift with your legs not with your
back" kind of kid...always a hunk of cuteness, but when he collapses he turns into one of those collapsible toys you press with your thumb and when you release it stands back up...except there is no release button for him.
Who would want to put up with all this? A mama would. Mamas are superheroes! My little guy has a raspy voice because he has screamed most of his life. Between myself and the foster mom he lived with first...70 children between us...he is the loudest child either of us has ever had. He loves intense feelings so when he is happy he is over the top happy and when he is mad...the volcano is available to him with less than a moments notice. He is funny and charming and crazy and OCD. But he is mine :) He is part of the blessing the Lord has chosen for our family. Yes, I said blessing! He is necessary for my salvation and I am necessary for his. His behavior is teaching me so much about myself and helping me to cling that much tighter to my heavenly Father.
You must make every effort to restrain yourself, so as not to acquire the unfortunate habit of losing your temper. This unbearable vice is not as noticeable in oneself as it is in others, and those who become angry over nothing are deserving of the fire of Gehenna. (St. Anthony)
O Holy Trinity, my child seems to be irritated with everyone and everything. Help me to know if, when, and how to correct my child during this time. Provide me with any insight that will help me to help him/her calm down and seek Your peace. Guide my words and actions, and help me not to try to control the situation but to submit it completely to You. For You are blessed, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.