Sunday, April 11, 2010

Giving My Boys Dolls

In this world where homosexuality, bisexuality, no-sexual identity is pushed as the norm from most media, including children's programs, why would a Christian mom hoping to instill Biblical values into the hearts and minds of her sons buy them dolls? (wow, now that's a long sentence!) My two youngest sons have been begging for dolls for the last 8 months. So why am I not screaming NO! and thrusting some sort of army guy or another "manly" type toy in their hands?

My three daughters have played with dolls since they were very small. It was very off and on because they were extremely active and loved playing outside. My youngest seemed to have the most vivid imagination when it came to dolls and families and would even turn her math manipulatives into groups of families with a red mommy trapezoid, yellow daddy hexagon and lots of little green triangle children. It really didn't matter what the item was she could probably turn it into a parent, child of whole family in a matter of minutes...even acorns that fell like bombs from the oak tree outside our house. We have endeavored to instill a love of family and the value of mommyhood into our daughters. We have worked hard to make sure that choosing to be a wife and mother is a high calling and a valuable, legitimate and even holy vocation. It has been difficult in a world that is constantly throwing fashion and all sorts of vain gods in their paths. It has been challenging to raise them in a society that berates stay at home wives and mothers. We have not suggested they limit themselves and avoid going to college or seeking a career of some sort if that is where the Lord is leading, but that if He is leading them "just" to be moms...well there is no such thing as being "just" a mom!

But what about our sons? How can we encourage them to be men of God in this ungodly generation? The worlds tells them it's all about video games, that girls really ARE better than boys. They are constantly emasculated. Any strong manly man on TV turns out to be some sort of wacko or is extremely stupid. The men portrayed on TV and in movies don't know their own minds, are awful and made to look like idiots in front of their children (and by their children)or are shown to be incapable of caring for their own children. I want my boys to be men! Many men! I want them to be strong and to know their own minds. I want them to value themselves enough to value others above themselves. I want them to be protectors of their homes and trainers of their children.

While the world pushes the extreme in one direction, many times those attempting to counteract that influence swing that same pendulum in the opposite but equally extreme direction. This opposite extreme often, most likely subconsciously, produces young men who lean towards authoritarian rather than authoritative. They tend to be hard workers but lack the gentleness required for raising children and being a co-martyr with their wives. The cycle continues generation after generation often due to fear rather than prayer, introspection and the seeking of our Lord.

So why the doll? I have chosen to purchase American Girl Bitty Twin dolls. I was able to choose two boy dolls and they look so much like my boys:) My sons will most likely be dads some day. I encourage the rough and tumble play, digging, climbing, building (but no ropes...haven't had good luck with those so far :) ) just doing "boy" things. They are different than girls. They are hunters and super heroes and cowboys. They dive off of furniture and land on their faces over and over again just because they can. When they do hurt themselves they are often more upset that their play was interrupted than that there is blood gushing from their foreheads or that they lost a finger somewhere! But there needs to be the gentle side tended to as well. They need to be taught to be compassionate. They need to be trained in the fine art of diaper changing and the training of children as valuable little people. No doubt they will be Ninja dad's with their babies strapped to their backs or soldiers protecting their children from the enemy. I'm confident they will leave the babies in the fox hole as they face their attackers. I want my boys to grow up to be men that will help their wives and joyfully take their children places to help them grow, learn and explore. They want to carry their babies in slings because they see me and their own daddy doing that with the babies we care for. Praise the Lord for that eagerness. Of course, they'll probably be camouflage slings...but that seed to care for and protect their "children" will be planted. Yes, I will be selective with why type of doll they play with, but heaven forbid I keep these boys from developing their daddy muscles. I have an opportunity to invest in the lives of my future daughter-in-laws and grand children through the interest they have in their dolls:) Only God knows:)


  1. Well as a trail blazer in this myself of course I think this is a good idea. Your brother had a doll because I thought it was wierd not to let him play daddy naturally. So, good job daughter. Right direction. Stock up on doll bandaids.

  2. All my boys had dolls...although the teenagers would be horrified to know I'm talking about it! Natie loves his "baby" and I really think it helped prepare him for his baby sister! He now loves to share his "baby" with her and he gives her instruction on how to care for her! love, Stephanie