Saturday, August 20, 2011

Missing Mommies

Out of my 6 fantastic children I got 3 ready made.  I never knew I would adopt but we're so glad we did.  But with adoption comes some sorrow.  There is the longing for the parents they either never knew or had to leave.  Our older boys were bigger when their lives changed forever.  They were toddler/preschool, but old enough to know that while my name was mommy, their mom was mommy.  As they went from our home to family homes back to our home they didn't have contact with their mommy and it wasn't until after their adoption that they had voice contact for the first time.  They have a unique situation going for them.  After parental rights were lost their amazing courageous momma got clean and has been ever since.  They have their stuff to process, but they have been able to start re-establishing a relationship with her and will be able to meet her and spend time with her.  I am truly proud of her and feel blessed to share that Mommy name with her. 

My younger guy is not so fortunate.  His mommy is MIA.  He is left to come up with fantasies about his parents and who they might be.  He's too young for me to share all the information about his early life and the life of his birth momma.  It's hard to tell him we don't know where his momma is or who his birth dad is.  To him I am mommy, but there is a hole in his heart where the first mommy peg is missing. He knew her heartbeat first.  He feels angry and lost and envious of his other brothers.  All I can do is hold him, pray for him and shed momma tears.  I don't know for sure if he will ever know his birth momma.  I don't know at this point if she is even still alive.

But with all of this pain God does not leave us without hope.  Hope for all involved!  I do have hope for my boys that they will reunite with family or, if that is impossible, to plant their roots deep enough that the sorrows of a unfair and painfully imperfect world won't be able to uproot them. 

May God grant them the strength of men, though they are still boys. Amen. 

1 comment:

  1. This truly makes my heart sad for them. I am so glad they have you to help them work through all of this with.