Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Calm Without a Storm...

Usually, when things are going well, we see it as the calm before the storm.  That's the way it tends to be at my house.  A sea of emotions going up and down.  Ominous clouds usually lurk in the distance, or right overhead, threatening rain.  I am generally without a boat just bobbing up and down clinging to a bit of debris from the last wreck.  Sounds bleak doesn't it?  Sometimes mamas go through seasons like this.  The season of GO GO GO GO GO...  The season of, "but mom!" or "No!" or "it wasn't me."  These season can be very stormy and unpredictable.  But have you ever noticed how beautiful things look after a storm? 

My 10 year old son goes to a "Waldorf inspired" school.  We really didn't know if he would make it.  This is the longest he's been in any kind of program.  It was beginning to look like this wonderful opportunity was going to be coming to an end.  The poor teacher had her hands full with several challenging students, but mine was almost a daily landmine waiting to go off.  She received emails from concerned parents and had to listen to students sharing their frustration, sadness or fear about what my son had done.  But last week was different.

A little over two weeks ago, my guy started a new medication.  This wasn't a big deal.  We have tried years of natural alternatives (herbs, essential oils, minerals, etc), which would work for maybe a week and then we were back to the raging sea of behavior.  Then, we started exploring the world of medication.  I cried when we made the decision, but my guy has some physiological issues that herbs, diet and exercise just weren't addressing.  The medications he started with followed the same pattern as the herbs.  They worked for a few weeks and then back to square one...or perhaps two.  Finally we found a combination that took the tiniest bit of the edge off my little landmine.  It made him sleepy in the morning, but then he was just as busy and anxious in his own skin.  But, two weeks ago we started something new AND IT'S WORKING!  He had a good week at school.  Did you hear me?!  He had a good WEEK at school.  Not just a good morning or a good day.  Not just a moment of focus.  He had a GOOD WEEK!  Perhaps it was just a fluke.

Yesterday, we had the pleasure of going to the Winter Faire held and my son's school.  It was delightful and very crowded.  Normally, the crowd would start revving up my son's engine.  Normally, seeing familiar faces and being in his school for an activity would make him more determined to show off...usually by saying or doing something inappropriate.  But he didn't!  He was calm.  He was focused and a joy to be around.  He had gotten a few treats, so I was sure our calm time would be over within the hour.  It stayed!  That night was busy and I was still waiting for the storm, but it never came.  In fact, looking up at the sky I actually saw stars!  I'd almost forgotten they were there behind the clouds. 

                                       (French knitter made out of toilet paper roll and popsicle sticks)

When it was almost time for bed, my guy started working on a spool knitter he had made as a craft at the faire.  My older sons were intrigued and asked him how to make one and allowed him to instruct them!  This never happens!  It was so peaceful!  I wondered if this was how other households lived.  It doesn't really matter, I am enjoying the calm.  I am enjoying being able to see the sun rise and set over the sea.  I know there will be other storms, or that the clouds I'm so used to may return, but calm moments like these allow me to remember that God will keep me afloat,  and that's the most important thing.

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